Self Mutilation: Warning Signs, Risk Factors and how to help teens cope.

These days self mutilation or "cutting" is prevalent in teenagers trying to cope with negative areas in their lives. It is difficult to see "warning signs" as teens often do it secretly and in places people wouldn't neccasarily see. I've tried to condense a lot of the information I have researched about this below so parents can be aware of the warnings signs their teen may be harming themselves, risk factors of teens who are prone to this behavior and coping skills to help them through it. Self harming oneself is often thought of as "cutting" but teens also harm themselves in other ways such as overdosing, poisoning and burning themselves. Also below I have included some different websites and such that can help if you know of a teen who is deliberately hurting themselves.

Teens at risk of "self harming":

* A teen who is being bullied.

* Depression

* Drug use in the family, alcohol or drugs.

* Parental neglect in the family.

* Physical, mental or sexual abuse.

* A mental illness.

Warning Signs your teen may be "self harming":

* Changes in sleeping habits.

* No interest in their favorite activities.

* They carry around drug or medical supplies.

* They always wear heavy clothing, long sleeves and pants even in the summer months.

* Behavior changes, mood changes.

* Cuts or bruises that cannot be explained.

* Keeping things hidden from their family, a specific area they keep locked.

* Withdrawn or changes in communication.

* Eating habits change.

* Carrying on them matches, lighters or knifes (sharp items)

Coping skills for teens who "self injure":

* Get them involved in church or youth groups.

* take a hot bath to relax.

* encourage them to listen to music.

* Yoga

* encourage them to let out their feelings, cry, scream.

* take up a hobby.

* journal

* encourage them to punch a bed or pillow instead of "self harm".

* take deep breaths

* encourage them to break the objects they use to harm themselves as a way of regaining control.

* try cooking

* draw, this can be very useful. Have them draw what or who makes them angry.

* take a walk.

* call someone they trust and can talk to: a friend, crisis line or counselor.

http://www.selfinjury.org/indexnet.html

http://self-injury.net/

National Youth Crisis Hot line: 1-800-448-4663

Self-Injury Hot line SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program: www.selfinjury.com1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900

Interesting link to a study regarding Teens and protection!

Below is a link to a very interesting article regarding teens and a study that was just released about them not wanting to use protection for various reasons. Very interesting articles and an eye opener to those of us who are parents of teens. In a way it gives us insight into our childrens minds and what they are thinking. Now more than ever we should be really talking to our teens on a daily basis about sex and the decisions they make now could effect the rest of their lives.

http://www.newkerala.com/topstory-fullnews-21133.html

Good parenting tips!!!

I know a lot of parents outs their question whether they are a good parent or not. If judging by what your teens say is correct then you probably have a low opinion of your parenting skills. Keep in mind teens lash out and what better why then to tell you they hate you or you are a horrible parent, but it doesn't mean you are. Below are some tips on how to be a better parent. If you all ready practise them GREAT! But hey we can all use help and especially when we are raising teens!

1. Be consistent.... If you are not consistent them then they know they can get away with anything and nothing will be done.

2. It is hard to spend time with your teen, trust me I know this but it is important. Teenagers do not want to hang with their parents, it's not you it's just a fact but make sure you do spend time with them. Do something they are into, read together, take a walk or even cleaning the house. Spending a little time with them opens up conversation time for them with you.

3. Do not ever criticize the teen for his or her mistakes. Emphasis you do not like the behavior but don't ever say you don't like them. Even if it is in anger teens take this to heart.

4. Have rules and expect them to follow them. Keep your teen on a schedule. Include them if you make changes to the schedule.

5. Tell them as much as possible how proud you are of them. Even if it is just how the cleaned up well or did their homework. Not only does it show you care but it boosts their self-esteem.

6. Show your love.... With teens this is especially difficult as they are to "cool" to hug or kiss their parents. Sneak the hugs and kisses in. They may act like they hate it but it does show them you love them.

7. Listen when they talk. Not much else can be said but to listen and don't interrupt. Listening to your teen will go a long way when they have something very serious they need to speak to you about. They know you can be trusted to listen.